Weddings

We went to a football themed wedding tonight. It was at the U football stadium and pictures of football players were every where. We waited in line for half an hour surrounded by the greatest football moments in the university's history. The most impressive was the photo of the fans with their chests painted in support of their team: UT!S. They misspelled UTES!, forgeting the most important letter...the vowel. And they will be remembered for all times as the football fans that can't spell their own school mascot.
After I felt that I had successfully mocked our school's pathetic English department in front of my English major wife I went on to explain my "wedding philosophy": I don't want to ever run into anybody and say "hey didn't we meet at that wedding?' at which point Lucy turned around and asked the complete stranger behind us if he was a physician. They began to talk and I left the line and went to eat the refreshments.
They had nice little bite size key lime pies that were too hard to get out their pie pans. And a fountain that peed punch. After I thought about the peeing fountain I decided to go with the water.
I brought Lucy a pie back once I felt that there was no way the physician conversation could still be going on. I arrived and the guy who might have been the physician said "wow little pies!!" and I complained that the line still hadn't moved.